Nicknames I have had:
Pumbah (the warthog from the Lion King...)
Dr Bré (like Dr Dré, geddit?)
Baloo (my number 1 all-time favourite - named after the bear in the Jungle Book by one of my best mates while dancing around to The Bare Necessities as he was convinced that I was indeed Baloo reincarnated. It may be the best compliment I've ever received)
Patch (shinty name)
The Weird Kid (I was 4, and liked wearing mismatched socks and shoes, ie 1 sneaker & 1 loafer - our downstairs neighbour thought that was weird and named me appropriately - I considered it a title of honour. Well, to be honest, I just thought it was cool - honour doesn't come much into a 4 year-old's emotional spectrum)
Richard the Turd (not a favourite)
Why list these? I got drunk with a friend last night and we got ridiculously nostalgic, toasting our friends far-and-near, and recalling exploits of the past and dancing like lunatics to the terrible tunes of our youth. We demanded an epic reunion and refilled glasses, trying to remember how Whigfield's Saturday Night dance went and laughing that she's now doing gigs in dodgy nightclubs in Peterborough.
It was great, and just what I needed. Sometimes you need to go over what you loved, what you did, all the people you were with to get on with doing new things.
Now when you pick a Pawpaw
Or a prickly pear
And you prick a wrong paw,
Well next time beware
Don't pick a prickly pear by the paw
When you prick a pear try to use the claw
But you don't need to use the claw
When pick a pear of the big Pawpaw
Have I given you a clue?
The bare necessities of life will come to you...
I think I'll go write something else for the rest of the day.