The conversation...

Inner Nagging Voice: So.

Me: So.

INV: So you're leaving.

Me: Well, I've left. I'm in London.

INV: No regrets?

Me: Nope.

INV: But didn't you have the best time ever during your last few weeks?

Me: Yeah.

INV: With, you know, fine wines, amazing food, endless smelly cheese, well-wishing and unerring love of your friends. Don't you think that's worth sticking around for? Oh, and the sambuca...

Me: If I recall, you're the one that started this whole fucking thing in the first place, with the whole "do you really think you belong here?" and the "what the fuck are you still doing here?" so what are you bitching about moving now for?

INV: You just ended a sentence witha preposition.

Me: Oh for fuck's sake!

INV: It's my job to question. Hence the "nagging" in "inner nagging voice". Duh.

Me: Did my mother put you there?

INV: Whatever dude - look. Are you sure you've made the right decision? Have you started writing properly? Have you even unpacked yet?

Me: Not yet...

INV: New driving instructor?

Me: No...

INV: So, you're sure you've made the right choice.

Me: Give me a chance to get settled in for Christ's sake, I've only been here two days!

INV: Sorry. Got to start nagging from the start.

Me: Do you really enjoy that?

INV: That's that not the point - it's my job to nag you. It's what I'm here for; my purpose in life.

Me: Well, I just quit a job I didn't like, and I feel great. You should try it.

INV: Dude, I'm not a disgruntled worker; I'm a facet of your conscience. You can't tempt me with liberation, dumbarse. The only way to free yourself of me is to achieve inner peace.

Me: Pizza?

INV: Peace, you dipshit. Speaking of which, how's the weight loss?

Me: Ok, Ok, I'm getting sick of this. Right. You're part of me, right?

INV:. . .yeah...

Me: Well then... fancy a pint?

INV: I'll just nag you about your drinking.

Me: I stop hearing you after the fourth.