05 August 2005

Jurassic Market...

The gypsies have arrived in St Andrews, with their rides and their candy floss. We don't like them. I certainly don't like them. So I think we should, during the lammas market, unleash specially trained dinosaurs upon them, to rend their flesh and make them go away. Will innocent people be hurt? No, because they'll be specially trained. The dinosaurs, not the innocent people. Mark my words.

7 comments:

Alicia said...

Hey now. I loved the lammas fair. Because I could walk out my front door and taunt carnies. And there were nasty things to do and it was sticky. So, kind of like the bop, except you didn't have to deal with the doormen or get a wristband.
You just have to learn to appreciate the value of pure unadulterated tack. And fried things. Besides, any event where you can mock freaks is a damn good event.

Richard said...

I bear the Lammas anymore. It sits outside of my place of work and mocks me!! It scares customers away and makes loud, awful noises. I can no longer brush it off by laughing at carnies. They must suffer under the specially trained dinosaurs. That is the final judgement.

Richard said...

That should have asid "cannot" bear the Lammas anymore... I think I'm losing it.

Anonymous said...

Richard, just want to ask were you born in St Andrews or are you a incomer to the town, that moan about all the good things in St Andrews ????????

Richard said...

I was not born in St Andrews, but I've lived here on and off for the last 13 years.

Anonymous said...

Richard, Do you know the history about the Lammas?????

Richard said...

Yes. It's a celebration going back to medieval times. The original Lammas Markets were just that - massive market festivals celebrating the first fruits of harvest. Why, in a town surrounded by some of Britain's finest agriculture, a so-called Lammas has to be a carnival bearing utterly no relation to a market festival is a mystery to me. I know the history of the Lammas, which is why the mockery it has become annoys me.